Lawry' Life

i need a vacation.

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:23:07 GMT

i need a vacation.
i feel as is I havent even sat down to rest and take a breath in forever.
between working for Pratt pre-college, i still work for Pratt's library, and I still do contract work for the design team, along with still volunteering for the church every week. guh.
i am tired.

I am a very tired Panda.

Good thing is that i get too see my Ann-Marie this weekend finally. shes coming back down so we can hang out for the weekend, and then i'm going to go back up with her and spend a few days at her house upstate. this should finally be the nice vacation that i needed. cause i luckily dont have work next week until wednesday. so i have all day, from saturday..until tuesday to spend with her. it's just a yucky 4 hour 23 minute drive there according to mapquest.
but it dont matter. it's worth it.
I so happy.

now..of to another envigorating day os precollege, then work at the Design offices.
giddy. just so giddy.

p.s- there is no better feeling than walking to the beat of the song Dreams by The Cranberries on a nice new york city day, on nice sidewalks, devoid of all tourists, and just a nice morning walk into work. it really does start the day off on the right foot. it's like the music in those soundtracks to the 80's movies in the morning, where all the suits are walking and hustling about and all the buisnesses are opening up.
god, i love new york in the morning. i believe new york is best in the Fall..winter..and spring. summer just gets a little bland for some reason..you dont get the real feeling of the city. cause everyone is just too hot and pissed off more than usual, plus the influx of tourists which you just want to push into oncoming traffic on the west side highway or the BQE. yep.
tip of the day- you should never poke a gopher corpse, because it's a good way to get the bubonic plague.

well..i'm off. Strapped with my coffee, proper office attire, black dress pants with my white with light blue stripes dress shirt, and black messanger bag..i am off once again into my great city when i step through this front door.
heads up, and open hearts,
lawrence-

Final Fu

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:03:11 GMT

SOO...if anyone here watches Final Fu on MTV2..everyday weeknight at 7:30...

i applied to be on the show..and they didnt contact me..
BUT..once again, on this week's new group...theres another person i've known on it since forever, who i've grown up going to and seeing at competitions..

in the first group..from last week, i knew
Hans Winkleling..and Steve Terada...

and this weeks..i've known
Gemma Nyguen..since forever.

god dammit...theres all these people i've known on this show..and i want to be on IT!

i miss fighting.
and most of the people on this show right now dont hold much experience in martial arts to begin with..except for those people that i know, and a few others..who have also been fighting in the circuts and competitions for the last 10-15 years along with me.

boo for mtv2. for not picking me.

Larry Bones-

goo. i'm so fucking aggravated.

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 01:19:07 GMT

i'm so done and over with Pre-college stuff.
i dont want to do this crap anymore.
but i need the money. it's great money for doing close to nothing. just that it's so draining.

i'm through dragging my ass through everything, hot swealtering heat and the neverending downpours of nyc. with asshole kids.

For example..yesterday, in the never-ending rain, i had to take a precollege Art-History to several of the Chelsea art galleries. surprisingly...one of those galleries we went to..was the one my friend Mary worked in..so that was a relief. she was an intern there last year..and now she works for them. yay for her.

but, this one kid..in my afternoon Art History class...decided it was a good idea to take off his shirt on the G train...mind, you..this was the queens bound G..which i gotta say is not the best place in general, since it's in bed-sty..but anyways, the kid goes on to Grind on the subway pole and give a pole dance. You dont do these things, especially on the G train! if you were on the 4 or 5...i dont think anyone would care..all they would do is scuff at your and point their noses moreso to the sky..but he is seriously going to get the crap kicked out of him.
I really wished Pratt would have given these pre-college kids a assembly on like sercurity and just common sense when they did they started the program.

A written job description for my RA/Chaperone job for Pratt Pre-college is just to monitor the kids activies and be a distant figure, just in case they need help...but honestly, I find myself always looming over everyone, making sure the groups dont get lost, or worse..wander away..and if they're by pratt..make sure they dont wander into Bed-Sty. I mean..it's called Bed-Sty for a reason...Bedford-Styversant is so dirty and so bad that it's like a pig sty. I mean..just a few weeks ago, a junior at pratt got jumped going home and he just got released a few days ago from the hospital, cause he had to get reconstuctive surgery on his jaw.
Pratt's few blocks are fine..and so is fort greene..and clinton hill..cobble hill..but go past 4 blocks north of pratt. I dont walk anywhere near there usually..and if i HAVE to..i always carry my Xacto box cutter in my back pocket just to be safe. well..i generally always have it with me anyways..but thats just cause i'm a industrial design student..i'm always cutting some plastic or blue foam.

but GOD!
i'm so through everything.
i'm pissed off. i'm sick of precollege. i'm done with underage precollege girls hitting on me. goo. EW.
and i really miss Ann-Marie. i should be going up to visit her at her mom's real soon. just as soon as i get a day off.

i need to go to church bad.
If anyone is ever in the city on sundays, and want to go to church with me?...i go to the coolest one..
it's called The Journey..and it's held in Manhattan Center's Grand ballroom..hammerstien ballroom is downstairs..on 34th st. across from penn station and the Lowe's theater and Chipotle.
They're the nice people who got me hooked up with the design team that i work for now.
Everybody there is like 30 and under..and all young professionals or in school. Good good peoples.

Muchlove,
larry-

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:06:44 GMT

i'm normal. bitch.
somewhat.

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English

35% Yankee

10% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

GodDammit!
I AM NOT A WOMAN.

Your Brain is 87% Female, 13% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

GOO.

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 15:34:54 GMT

i feel weird today.
i dont know why.

i need school to start again, so i have countless nights slept in my studio.
i need to have a purpose in life again.
i NEED to do work. and not job/money making work...i want to do homework, projects, and learn.

i never thought i'd love school. but this isnt really REAL school. so i'm cool with it.
if i didnt go to a art&design school..I wouldnt have gone to college.

3 days till Philippe comes back from France.
2 weeks till Ann-Marie comes back from her moms.

my life is just a big waiting game right now.
waiting for my peeps to come back. and then waiting for my meaning in life to start up again.
boo.

i'm hopeful.

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 13:22:02 GMT

talking to the girl makes things better. yep.
i enjoy our late night phone calls before we go to bed.

i need to take a few days off from work just to go up and visit.

precollege started monday..and i'm a chaperone and RA type thing for them..so my major job is just to make sure the kids dont wander off into bed-sty and get stabbed or beat up...cause they seriously do look completely oblivious to the fact they're on the border of Bed-Sty..and walk anywhere they please with their heads up to the skys. yea..those kids are going to get stabbed wheter they know it or not..I'm going to have to give a sercurity speech and stuff..cause the way they're going now..wandering off after classes are over each day..someone bound to get mugged. cause people around the area think that most Pratt kids..are just walking ATM's.
stupid kids.

so..i need to borrow my cousin's range rover with the navigation to go see ann-marie. cause the accord..is going to die before i even start it, if it knows that i'm going to want to drive it that far...plus..the range rover is just so completely pimp-licious. and i wont get lost.

that is my plan.
muchlove,
lawry-

i feel like a grown up.

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 02:49:19 GMT

i love brooklyn when it's nice out.

it's very nice, well..my part that is.
the tree lined cobble streets of Clinton Hill, are unmatched. Along with pratt's sculpture garden...which is rated in the top 10 in the US..a beautiful day out and about is absolute nirvana.

so..i'm a chaperone and RA for the Pratt Pre-college kids, who start their program on monday..which is nice. I did pre-college at pratt like 2-3 years ago..and thats when my entire life changed. I loved my art, and it made me realize everything, and it just enveloped me. And..it also made me absolutly LOATHE new jersey, and it's abundance of uncultured ignorant fucks there. I'm glad that I can help these kids, cause pre-college is important if you want to go to art school..it either makes you realize it is what your life is meant to be..or completely deter it away...Cause a real art school is more work than the ivy league institutions..since we have at least 6-8 hours of homework every single night after our 6 hour long studio classes.

well..anyways. i feel good.
and i cant wait for school to start full swing again.

muchlove,
lawrence-

um..north korea? screw you.

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 00:33:23 GMT

so, in todays news...

north korea fired ICBMs into the sky..to try and be hardasses.
that really kinda infuriates me.

whats happening in north korea right now, is almost the same thing that happened back in Nazi Germany with Adolf Hitler. Kim Jong Il has prison camps, huge ones, and in his country, it is suggested that if you give birth to a mentally disabled, or disable child, to kill it right away, and just do away with those who are handicapped.

for example, in north korea's capital, people who are handicapped or disabled, are not allowed in or around the area. it is told that they are "cared" for in the country side, but they are actually murdered.
i cant believe this shit still goes on today..and after their little show today, that they actually have weapons that do this shit..it's just uncomprehendable.
that man in korea is a fucking douche.

oo..i also learned that nigga Kim Jong Il, is short as fuck. he's only 5'2''. common..my penis is bigger than that. and even then..thats no excuse for such a horrible fashion sense. look at all the other world leaders..even george bush is wearing Armani and Prada..and the guy is clearly an idiot.

man..people of the world who are idiots.
make me mad.

crap. just breathe. think BIG OPEN SPACES. or leaf covered Brooklyn sidewalks.

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 03:55:19 GMT

yea..so i had a shitty day today.

and it was made worse just cause i didnt really get to talk to ann-marie today.
shes been gone for 2 weeks to her mothers house up in upstate so far, and it feels like forever in between our conversations.

we miss having our daily lunches either on the main lawn, or some little restaurant on dekalb..so..being the cheesey mother fuckers we are..we're going to have lunch over the phone tomorrow. hah.

but yea..the whole marlboro and getting that very nervous anxiety feeling came on REALLY strong again today. and i dont really know fully why. but i just know that it got pretty bad. that is why i really need to not go back to marlboro that much..and it can be seen as to why.
i'm just content in staying in new york, or anywhere else really..that is cultured, and filled with open-minded people, with my friends and people who are of great importance to me..and never stepping foot into new jersey ever again.
it's clearly seen what happens when i do.
and i'm pretty damn sure, later on in life..i'm going to need some kinda of therapy for it.
cause i really really hate it when i get those anxiety feelings. and i know it's from marlboro.

gah..fuck all yall bitches. i know whats up, eventually when i'm sucessful enough, i'll get my place that overlooks central park east, like something on the sidestreets between park and museum mile..like around 89th st.
marlboro really fucked me up man..and i gotta say i dont like what it did. and i'm not sure exactly what it did.

meng.
larry bones-

the right words.

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 14:49:59 GMT

so sometimes you just need the right words, and they are hard to think of.
but then again, what if there are some things that words can only express the tip of what you are trying to say, and it doesnt capture the full meaning of what is being said. some things do not have words for them.

i've been told that if it is right, there is nothing that can be done to make it wrong,and veer off. but if it is wrong, there is absolutly nothing that can be done to make it right. so just follow it out.
and things couldnt be better lately. i honestly cant remember being more happy.
it's a good feeling when you know that somebody truly cares about you full and wholeheartedly.

i've been very good lately.
i feel like i've been using my heart to decide with everything that i do lately, instead of reason with my head. which i really do like. and when i mean everything..i feel like it's gotten to the extent to which hair product to use in the morning. hah.
i dont know what brought on this, but i do like it.

oh, and i have to say..that there is no better feeling, than a day spent with my blondegirl walking in manhattan.
i.e: a few days ago, when we were just walking around soho, specifically spring st. and it's few cross streets.
oh..and just for the record, Spring st...is MY street, i know most of the restaurants and bars..and the smoke shop.. there and the people who are regularly around there pretty good.
It feels so great to be able to walk around there and see people that know you, and just wave. It has to be something about being in a city, not just any city, but New York..and you have all these people that you know. It's great.
And i gotta say that central park east, on a nice day..cannot be beat.

Just simple things, and little things that happen, is what makes my life and me just so incredibly happy right now.
yep.

Muchlove,
Larry-

Today was one of those days...The Good Ones.

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 02:29:53 GMT

today i gotta say started out kinda usual, just a little more crappy, cause of trains, but it quickly got much much better.

it was just absolutly SO beautiful outside. it was amazing, because me and ann-marie got out stuff done early today..so we just sat outside on Pratt's main lawn for a good 2 hours before i had to go to work and she had to go to class at 2. Today was definetly one of those days where every momment of the day was just perfect.

i painted 2 new paintings this past week. They are completely different from each other though. kinda strange. usually my paintings have the same overall theme. oh well.

oo..so i got my new camera a few days ago. i got a digital SLR, me's Canon Rebel.. and since it was so nice, me and Am just kept playing with it today. and these are the results..you know..every few weeks, i have that one post where it's just a bunch of pictures. and here is mine for this edition of the lawry life.

picture from when i went up to caitlin's pocono house..somewhere up there in the boondocks. quite the good weekend.

Two new paintings.

eh, just pictures of me and the girl outside today. it was rare to see pratt so beautiful today. so we took advantage of it.

ok, i'm done for now.
muchlove,
Sir Lawrence of Prattonia.

whoh..deadlines.

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 04:05:57 GMT

so, i have to say that i am the master to deadlines.

I ALWAYS meet them. cause when i'm under pressure, i work alot better, and my best work comes from when i'm under a time limit.

and, i painted another painting today. i like this one alot. it's one of my even more abstract peices, but it's very free formed. i like it. pictures will be taken at a later date.
and i gotta say that i absolutly love to stay up and just sitting around and talking with ann marie. couldnt ask for a better person be with.
i went home for fathers day today, and family came over and we had a barbeque.

for once, i think that home might have been kinda relaxing today. or that could also be the fact that i was drinking a few michaelob extras with my dad and uncles.

but shit bitch.
i'm good.

oh...blondes.

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 04:28:43 GMT

haha..it's times like these that make life good with a blonde girl next to you.

so..ann-marie updated her myspace, with one of those 20 questions things that you just copy and paste, and you get a box all nice.

yea..so she had a blonde momment and spelled her own name wrong on the first question. dont get me wrong..i have plenty of times where i am just absolutly retarded..but.
so i now get to wollow in giggles. this is better than the smirking allowed when we walk up stairs and it takes 10 minutes cause she fell on her tailbone.
god, i'm so bad.

haha, but i love it.

fucking realtors.

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 01:50:27 GMT

So..i just want to start off by say... Bobby Newton of Naucorp Properties...DOES NOT DESERVE THE $3500 brokers fee that he's going to get for showing the apartment. the man did absolutly nothing. he just opened the door and gave the papers. shit, some real estate agents get paid for doing absolutly nothing.

god.

ouch im tired.

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 02:05:21 GMT

fuck, just not feeling too good again. but whats new.

i just wish i could not do anything and just relax for a while.
my weekdays suck.
i wake up at 7am in the morning for class, class ends at 12, work at the library from 2-7, then i put in another 2 hours a night for work for the design team.
and in between that, i find time to have lunch and spend time with ann-marie everyday and somehow still squeeze in eating dinner sometime in there. i need a break from the work. and just be able to relax.
i basically work from 7am to 10pm constantly, god, not to mention that when i do have to go into the office for the design team, i'm there for at least 4 hours at a time. well, at least i get to wear one of my nice suits and at least feel good. i dont care, it's pay by commission almost, so how much work i give them, is how much i get paid for..after all, they are paying for my skteches and rendering. whatever. after all that, i am so exhausted that i need to pass out.

i just want a nice relaxing remainder of the summer.

and after summer session 1 ends, ann-marie is going to be going up to her mom's house in upstate for 2-3 weeks to finish packing everything and get some stuff for the apartment..so it's going to be empty around here for a while..what am i going to do without my Am? and my black man partner in crime is leaving for france on saturday..so the larry bones is going to be quite alone. hopefully, houli comes back on weekends from his sailing instructor job in massachusettes. damn gay sailor..he's going to make those little boys walk his plank and swash his buckle. oh well. it's all good. houli hopefully wont get himself into trouble.

ok. god. rest.
sleep.
larry-

a great weekend.

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 02:09:16 GMT

so..this weekend i thought was absolutly splendid.

friday after work, nicole and me drove up to caitlin's pocono house for the birthday. the drive up i gotta say wasnt the best, just cause it got dark, the roads got confusing, and a giant rain drop about a mile wide just fell on us. it wasnt billions of little droplets, but instead, just 1 giant raindrop that fell on the car.
the weekend was very relaxing though. i'm so not used to green trees, lakes, and open areas anymore. it's such a different change from new york city.
it was nice. i would love to just go vacation up in a place like that every now and then, and get away from the congestion of the city. very nice.

and it was great to see caitlin! i havent seen her in like a year, and i gotta say. i love that girl. so sweet. yep.
i do miss friends. just cause when i am in marlboro, i tend not to go outside the house, just cause i have like a phobia of new jersey almost, just cause the people are so horrible.
but yes..overall, it was just one of the most relaxing times i've had in a long time.

and i think i needed it. it's been a really stressful few weeks, and months.
i mean..with both my grandmothers passing away..school..work..girls..and apartments..i've just been really really stressed out. and with a nice scenic drive up the hills and mountains with lakes on the sides and blue skys..along with great friends and company..i needed it.
amazing.

muchlove,
lawry'-

love. my . life. fully.

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 14:20:01 GMT

so..today is good. i like thursdays.

today i have to do somem things for the design team..then i have to work at pratt from 2-7. eh, i dont mind it. i kinda like it actually, just cause it's so chill there.
um..i dunno, but i'm kinda happy right now. it's a good thing.

took ann-marie to the hospital yesterday. she bruised or fractured her tailbone. so i have a smirk that draws across my face whenever we walk up stairs cause it takes like 5 minutes now. but i'm allowed to smirk. just not laugh. hah. no..i really do feel bad. but of anything that she breaks..the tailbone is just funny i thought.
oh well..thats my accident prone blonde girl.
um..shopping tomorrow. i havent gone out to shop in a long time. it should be much fun.
the whole Am's broken ass thing isnt going to be much fun after a while. i can tell already. she wants to drive out to manhattan tomorrow instead of taking the train cause it "hurts" to sit on the train. oh well. we're taking her car at least.

so..i have to design the new flyers and buisness cards for the design team. and..i have no ideas so far.
hopefully, they'll come.

so..in other news..

i have a new cousin that is coming today..of which until a week ago, i never knew existed.
he's my new aunt's son..and he's 15 and from shanghi?..i think i spelled that right. and apparently, my uncle is in for a surprise..cause he magically got a son overnight now...haha..oh god.
i cant imagine that man with a son. but i'm like a son to him..but an actual full time kid. i hope that kid survives..cause when i used to spend time with my uncle when i was little, i'd have to like fend for myself for food and stuff..and he'd just give me money for dominos or something when i was 6.
oh well..i guess he's in for a surprise..

i love brooklyn. mucho much. it's my city..but it's calmer than manhattan. it's a good place as long as you're in clinton hill/ williamsburg area where we are. it's really nice to have a gourgeous campus thats better than any nyc park next to central park. sometimes..you just need the somewhat quiet-ness.
oh yes..caitlin party. i'm not sure whats going on right now. nobodys calling me back? i dunno. i hope things work out though.

but.
so far..life is good right now.
things are looking up, especially when i have my life back to it's normal settings, and i'm in new york with my people that care about me.

songs that remind me of new york always:

Rent Sountrack "Seasons of Love"- Reminds me of winter time, especially when philippe's mom hosts all her crazy parties with celebrities and monoco royalty that attend. i love that woman. shes more of a mother to me than my actual mom. good good times. hah, she showed me the new york city "good life".

Big Punisher "Off wit his Head"- Reminds me of Pratt in the fall time and working out in the gym. i dunno, it's a song that makes me happy.

Imogen Heap "Hide and Seak"- Reminds me of winter time in the city, winter break at philippe's house. great times with the peepster and Ali. this is a Ali song.

Hot Hot Heat "Goodnight Goodnight"- This is me and Philippe's song. oh what great times. it rings through his house. also around time of winter break with Ali.

Jack's Mannequin "All of the songs"- Reminds me of riding in the subway uptown. i dunnon why. but great cd.

Say Anything "Alive with the Glory of Love"- another Philippe and Larry song. not to mention Mandy. especially cause she dated their lead singer. oh her LA origin.

yea, i dunno why i decided to type that out.

new york city winters are amazing.
after a full day of 6 hour drawing class. oo..a nice capachino in soho at my dearest Ciao Soho, made by Alessandra. then going down to the smoke shop for a great cigar. and just having the best of times with Philippe, Houli, and Ali. oh..new york i love you.

hah, i just got sentimental for the cold.
and i dont know why this entry is so long. it started out normal, but a song came on, on itunes, and it just brought back memories.
and i dont know why people will have any enjoyment in reading this..but yes. this is my life.

lawry'-

lawrence-

i've had more than a bad day. it's been a shitty month.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 11:00:35 GMT

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

fuck.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 12:48:42 GMT

not good. i just want to leave.
the apartment hunt is sucking. but the one we looked at yesterday was absolutly gorgeous.

i just want a place where ann-marie wont get raped and i wont get stabbed. is that too much to ask.

damn it, i want to be full time again in the city. i get anxious when i'm in here, and i just dont feel all too good.

tomorrow possibly a good day?

Wed, 31 May 2006 02:51:57 GMT

so..i have my art history class tomorrow morning at the Metropolitan Museum of Art..better than any stuffy old classroom.

after that...probably going to hop downtowm to see how philippe is doing. but i dunno if he went with yas and dechen to versailles. i wanted to go to france this summer..but alas. summer school.

hm...me and ann-marie are going to see our possible apartment at 5:30. i called the realtor today and set everything up. he seemed nice on the phone.

ok, so my computer has viruses from jess goodwin sending me crap from her computer and by me sending songs to her. whore.
tomorrow has the outlook to be a decent day. something that i havent had in a long while.

i hope things are looking up. not cause i want it, but i pretty much need it right now.

lawry'-

oo..how nice it is to be proper.

Mon, 29 May 2006 03:00:24 GMT

so..i realized today that i absolutly love chick flicks.
and i gotta say that i'm not afraid to admit that.

i watched you've got mail and kate and leopold over today.

i just have to say that Kate and Leopold is one of my favorite movies of all time. i can never get sick of it.

i like happy ending movies like that. it gives the make believe hope there, that there is hope. and that stuff will work out. eventually.
"sighs". everywhere. all the time. non stop. that is what chick flicks do to a person. kinda sad.
o well.

done for the night. and done with my art history paper on Cycladic figurine sculptures. finally.
muchlove,
lawry-

let it be..

Sun, 28 May 2006 11:36:18 GMT

so..yesterday was one of those harder days in life.
ugh. shit just needs to stop happening.

and on another topic, i was told that i just need to lay low on the girl scene for a while and let it come by my daily horoscope today.
and i'll let it be. just like the Beatles song.

so many things to do. My Art History paper, is due tuesday. gotta work like woah next week.
need to find an apartment really really soon with ann-marie, cause willoughby isnt going to work and neither is commuting.

so. i have my work cut out for me for the next few weeks.
and it seems like theres not much to look forward to, since it's all work.
well, the new apartment will be something nice i'm sure.
oo..almost forgot, the caitlin party. so i'm sure that'll be nice too.

theres just so much crap going on.
damn it.

lawry'-

I like my kidneys. Please dont Shank them.

Thu, 25 May 2006 01:30:17 GMT

so..in me and Ann-Marie's efforts to find our right apartment..that has left me wishing there were affordable ones in places where i wont get stabbed and she wont get hollered at.

the really nice one we wanted in the good neighborhood by school was sold today.
upsetting.

Lawrence is trying to find a dwelling in which he wont get shanked walking to. he like his kidneys.

i'll miss my grandma.

Mon, 22 May 2006 22:23:27 GMT

my grandma passed away this morning at around 8:30 i would say.
and, at that time, i was on the train into new york cause of school.

i would say that until today, i always had a little doubt that God was real. yea, well, that changed today.
my grandma died this morning at 8:30am around..and around that time, i know it sounds weird but i truly believe that it happened. i had like one of those dream/visions.
and i know it wasnt a full on dream, because i had my music playing in my headphones and subconciously i could hear all the music with every word.
well, anyways, i would say around 8:40 ish, i just kinda close my eyes, and i swear that it felt just unreal. I guess you could call it one of those out of body experience type things i guess.
and i know i sound just so ridiculous right now.

but, in the dream/vision, God was there and he took my hand and just kinda lifted me up and helped me up to what seemed to be entirely white, and i was there with him, but he just seemed so much taller than me. And then my grandma and a budda appeared. The budda had like those strange spiked rays coming from around it, and it was smaller, but my grandma was standing there. And she looked younger, as if she did when i remember her the best and she was at her best. She was there, and i went to hug her. The second i hugged her, all the memories i ever had of her flashed so incredibly quickly in front of me. From me as a real small child slipping into bed in the morning when my parents went to work and i didnt have to go to school yet, cause i was scared of sleeping by myself, so her sitting in her chair, and just scenes of my childhood where she took care of me and raised me. Cause my mother obviously didnt raise me since she was always at work. But as soon as that happened, it went away, and it got faster and faster and then i awoke to a real loud noise of a train door slamming and i was back in my seat.

about 3 minutes later i get a new voicemail on my phone, and it was my mom saying that my grandma had passed a few minutes ago.

so, i dunno. It could be coincidence that all of this happened, but it just makes me feel so strange.
That i had that dream, and it was just so...strange. I dont even have anymore words on it.

man..why the hell is everybody dying.

But anyways, my grandma is in a better place now.
i love my grandma.

Sun, 21 May 2006 14:10:11 GMT

things..are not good.

so it looks like it's going to be my grandmother's last few days.

i just wished things would return to normal again.
i've had enough of all this shit with people dying. first with philippe's dad, then my grandmother on my dad's side, and now my grandmother on my mom's side.
what the fuck.

done.